Divorce and the duty of (self) care

Aug 31, 2021, by Kate Donohue

It is often said that divorce is one of the top five most stressful life events.  At Myersons we pride ourselves in taking a holistic approach to all family situations and looking at the full scope of the situation for the individual and family involved.

It is incredibly common for one but usually both parties involved in a separation to suffer stress and anxiety about the process.  Worrying about financial and children matters on top of experiencing the emotional breakdown of a partnership that has been in place for a number of years, often for the majority of one’s adult life, can quite easily get on top of even the most well rounded individual.

When advising our clients we want to ensure that they take care of themselves mentally, emotionally and physically during the separation process.  This not only benefits the client themselves but also, most importantly, their children.  Children go through an incredibly difficult time when their parents are separating; even if parents are not arguing in front of them, a change of routine, living in different households and even the simple fact that their parents no longer live under the same roof is a huge challenge for the children of separated parents.  Children pick up on the stresses and emotional strains that their parents are under and can often take on an emotional burden from that experience.  Whilst a parent cannot totally avoid that burden it is possible to minimise it.

At the end of the legal proceedings, if there are children involved, the parties may no longer be spouses but they will always be parents.  Amicable proceedings can hopefully mean that the transition to co-parenting following a separation will be a smoother process.

We try and assist our clients not just legally and financially but also emotionally.  Mediation and taking an all-round approach creates a process designed to be less contentious, promoting co-operation and, hopefully, agreement.  

If you are considering separation or divorce, choosing the right Advocate is often a crucial step in the process.  Between us we have over 40 years of family law experience and have seen the best and, unfortunately, the worst family law case scenarios.  We try to match our clients to a particular member of our team to get the best ‘fit’ for them, drawing on our extensive collective experience where required.  We often suggest clients visit other professionals on the Island to assist them in managing their separation such as mediators, therapists, accountants and financial advisers to ensure that all issues surrounding a separating family can be fully addressed.  At Myersons we have found that by working with clients in this way we are able to help them deal with the challenges ahead more effectively and ensure that they are able to deal with this difficult process in the best way that they can.